Life's A Beach

NATE IS HOME!!!!  Ah...life is good.  Everything...and I mean everything is much, much easier and better when we are all home together.  How did I ever think life was hard before this?  Now I know what hard is.  We are not happy that chemo has been delayed...but there's always the blessing...we are so, so grateful to have a happy, healthy weekend at home.  We are going to take FULL advantage of it...we haven't had one in a long, long time...almost 2 months.  Nate is due at the clinic bright and early Tuesday morning to see if his body is ready to start chemo again.  I think it will be...so, we will be prepared to start that day.  As soon as he gets the go ahead to start chemo, I will start making phone calls to New York to see if the chemo delay changes our travel plans.

Nate has asked several times, since all this started, to go to back to "our big house at the beach"...we rented a condo right on the boardwalk this year.  Does he just love the beach, like his Mommy?  Or does San Diego represent for him an escape from all this...a time when there was no cancer in our world?  We had been home from our trip less than 5 days when our world exploded.  I really think it's a little of both.  I sat with him on my lap at the computer and we looked at pictures of our trip together.  These pictures are truly painful for me to look at.  I want to go back to "our big house at the beach" too, Nate.  I want to go back there and freeze our life forever.  Life was easy and carefree.  Life will never be like that again.  Even when we make it through this, we will always KNOW childhood cancer, and once you KNOW, there is no such thing as carefree.  We will always have scans and an oncologist in our lives.  Our life will be a different type of beautiful.  We will have a SURVIVOR and we will have WARRIORS.  We will continue to fight for the little ones who fight for their lives every day.  Yes Nate, we will go back to the beach...soon.  I can't wait to take you back to the beach.