Bringing the Pain

I need a shirt that says, "Caution:  Cancer mom has had too much this week.  Watch the f@#$ out!".  We started our day at my favorite place on the planet...admitting.  Really...I despise admitting.  It takes forever.  I fill out and sign the same...exact...papers...every...single...time.  One time, I had to go to admitting 3, yes 3, times in one day because Nate had all sorts of different tests scheduled on the same day.  There really should be some sort of expedited admitting process for those of us who live at the hospital more than we live at home.  It's very stressful for me because Nate is always very anxious until we actually get up and settled in his room, so I want this to happen as quickly as possible.  I really do my best to smile, sign and answer their questions.  "No, we have not had changes since we were here last."  I would probably think to tell you if we happened to move or change insurance since we were here last...which was 4 whole days ago.  So, when the admitting lady told me that they didn't have a room ready for us and she didn't know how long it would take and we should just go sit in the waiting room...it took all my strength to keep my head from exploding.  I explained, loudly, that I knew it wasn't her fault but I was very angry because Nate's treatment had already been delayed for 2 days because someone didn't do their job correctly and I would not increase my child's anxiety by rotting away in the admitting waiting room.  Someone needed to get him a room and get him one now.  She eventually went to get the room assigning lady who said, "Nathaniel?  Here for the [procedure I've never heard of]?".  Um...no, Nathaniel Dinoffria, here for oncology.  Oh yeah, his room is all ready.  Oy!  My fuse in non-existent right now.

Nate was finally hooked up and started on all of his medications by12:30pm, with the antibody starting at 2:30pm.  The pain started, right on schedule, about 3 hours after the antibody started.  I sat and pushed his button every 10 minutes for about an hour, hoping the pain would get better and he could drift off to sleep.  Then, he threw up everywhere.  Even though he was complaining of stomach pain, I didn't expect him to throw up because he didn't throw up last time...but again, this is a slightly different cocktail of drugs, so you never know.  He was pretty upset at having to get cleaned up but seemed to feel a bit better after emptying his tummy.  We snuggled in bed, working through the pain.  Daddy, Wes and Ellie came to the hospital for dinner and for Daddy and I to switch kids.  I was worried that Wes and Ellie would be too loud and would upset Nate but they were very sweet and gentle with Nate and they all enjoyed getting a chance to say good night to each other in person.

Daddy is taking care of Nate tonight and trying to stay on top of his pain.  He still has about an hour and half of antibody to go, then hopefully he can get some good, pain free sleep.  Tomorrow, I work while Papa, Grandma and Linde will take care of Nate. I absolutely hate not being there with him on hard days.  I'm praying that he will be as comfortable and pain free as possible tomorrow until Mommy can come and give him special snuggles.